Who Ever Said Grown Men Don't Cry Never Saw One Passing A Kidney Stone

I didn't even know I was expecting and now I am the proud father of a 2 millimeter shard of kidney stone. One minute I didn't have a care in the world and the next BAM! It hit me. I have never felt pain like that before, it was like I was incorrectly lifting a truck off the ground and while I was busy doing that someone decided to kick me in the groin, every 5 minutes.

My wife was able to help me get in the van; we were off to the Emergency Room. We have driven to Baltimore from Florida many times and those trips seem like joy rides compared to the 20-minute journey to the hospital.

When we finally made it and I was whisked through triage and received my stylish standard issue open back dress and an I.V. of their best fluid. The most pain-relieving thing I could do was pace, even though the nurse kept saying sit down and relax Mr. Price. I resembled Ozzy Osborne shuffling about pleading for drugs, all with my butt hanging out of my spiffy gown. My wife wanted to help but there was nothing she could really do.

Pain that bad uses up all your energy, I now understand the mean things that come out of the mouths of a women in labor. I wanted to nicely say, "There is nothing you can do to help", but oddly enough it came out "You did this to me! You made me eat and drink this diet! I want drugs and I want them now!"

At last I received my drugs, or as they were known in the ER, "the good stuff". Not long after the pain relief kicked in I remember happily thinking Dilaudid would be a beautiful name for a girl if we were ever to have one. They sent me for a Cat Scan, and with "the good stuff" on a slow drip I asked if they spotted any cats. They said no but they did verify that it was Kidney Stones and sent me home to drink gallons of water and strain my urine. I never had to do anything like that before. The closest thing was when I was young we went on a vacation to North Carolina and we mined for gem stones. It was like that only without the dirt.

The shard passed about halfway through the next day. Later that same day I received a call from a friend who had told his Mom about my experience and she said, "Tell Greg to thank his wife for having their baby." For the record I have thanked her, and then it occurred to me no one asked me if I wanted an Epidural.

Greg has been writing articles online and offline for over 7 years. He has many specialties including humor, personal development, and parenting. Check out his latest website on My Little Pony party supplies, pick up some great ideas for a My Little Pony party while you are there.